


Whose ideas was this

by itssophii



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Comedy, F/F, F/M, Mild Sexual Humor, Modern AU, Reader-Insert, chatfic, female sapphic reader, some strong language, that gay shit, usagi has a harem aha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:35:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29047770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itssophii/pseuds/itssophii
Summary: A random number gets added into the Senshi group chat and starts causing a bit of a gay ruckus.orUsagi is a useless bisexual and has a harem but is too oblivious to tell
Relationships: Aino Minako/Hino Rei, Chiba Mamoru/Tsukino Usagi, Kaiou Michiru/Tenoh Haruka, Kino Makoto/Mizuno Ami, Tenoh Haruka/Tsukino Usagi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	1. The chaos begins

**Author's Note:**

> I've done chatfics before and i miss it so here you go. also I've seen barely any sailor moon chatfics so of course I had to aha

#####-###-#### was added to the chat!

#####-###-####: wassup fuckerz

Minako: lmao good start

#####-###-####: what am I doing here aha

Ami: Are you sure this is a good idea Usagi?

Usagi: yyee it'll be finnnee

Makoto: who are you

#####-###-####: Y/N L/N

#####-###-####: wait ik ur names

#####-###-####: yall r the sailor senshi right

Rei: WHAT

#####-###-####: dw i wont tell anyone

#####-###-####: wait if its actually you I have to change your names this be boring asf

Makoto: HOW TF DO YOU KNOW WERE THE SENSHI WH

#####-###-####: for legal reasons I will be ignoring that question

Haruka: can we keep her

#####-###-####: WAIT OMG THE OUTERS ARE HERE TOO AVSHJUGHJBJL

#####-###-####: i need to change your names asap

\- #####-###-#### changed their name to Y/N -

\- Y/N changed Rei's name to tsundere kagome -

tsundere kagome: HEY

Minako: is she wrong tho

\- Y/N changed Haruka's name to bitches magnet -

\- Y/N changed Makoto's name to senpai notice me -

\- Y/N changed Usagi's name to useless bi -

bitches magnet: accurate

senpai notice me: ack she knows us

useless bi: ill take it

\- Y/N changed Minako's name to dumb blonde -

Y/N: fuck forgot that usagi n haruka r blonde too

Y/N: eh who cares

\- Y/N changed Ami's name to senpai -

senpai notice me: WHA

Michiru: well this is interesting

Y/N: i ain't done yet

\- Y/N changed Michiru's name to bitches -

senpai notice me: ha karmas a bitch

bitches: i deserve that

dumb blonde: lmao no regrets

-Y/N changed Setsuna's name to milf energy -

-Y/N changed Mamoru's name to twink -

twink: what did i do to deserve this

Y/N: hm idk just bcs ur the only man here aha

Y/N: anyways theres something ive always wanted to ask yall

senpai: First, how do you know we are the Sailor Senshi?

Y/N: where i come from, theres a manga and anime abt you

useless bi: WHA THATS SO COOL WHOS THE MAIN CHARACTER

Y/N: you

tsundere kagome: why

useless bi: OMG SO CIOL I HAVR A MANGA

Y/N: idk but its cool

Y/N: and hella gay ahaha

Y/N: shame seiya isnt here

bitches magnet: why do you like her she annoying n stupid

Y/N: but shes hot

twink: fair

dumb blonde: suddenly the name makes sense

Y/N: youre welcome


	2. Alien Senshi Sailor Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group realises just how many fans their anime has and what that means

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> name reminder:  
> tsundere kagome: rei  
> senpai notice me: makoto  
> senpai: ami  
> dumb blonde: minako  
> useless bi: usagi  
> twink: mamoru  
> bitches magnet: haruka  
> bitches: michiru  
> milf energy: setsuna  
> you: Y/N

Y/N: so if yall are reincarnated moon guardians and shit, and you could live on the moon with no problems, doesnt that technically make you aliens?

tsundere kagome: wow

senpai notice me: how long did you need to type that

Y/N: .

Y/N: long

Y/N: i was bored so

senpai: Well, if the definition of an alien is one who lives outside the earth, so yes, I guess we arw aliens.

dumb blonde: did

dumb blonde: did i see that right

bitches magnet: the prophecy is true

senpai: ???

tsundere kagome: this is scary

Y/N: did ami just make a typo

senpai: Oh. Apologies.

Y/N: so you arent a robot

senpai: Sorry?

Y/N: nothing

Y/N: anyway haruka remember when you kissed usagi

twink: I'm sorry WHAT

bitches: I definitely do

bitches magnet: yeah what about it

Y/N: well it may or may not have triggered a LOT of fans to start shipping you

twink: but- but-

bitches: So everyone's just ignoring me ok

bitches magnet: babeee calm down

Y/N: ignoring the fact that there are around 900 harumichi fanfics on ao3 alone

bitches magnet: wow that's actually a lot damn

tsundere kagome: 900 are you fucking kidding me

dumb blonde: people must have a lot of time on their hands

useless bi: just finished eating what did i miss

twink: scroll up

useless bi: ...ohhhhhh

Y/N: LISTEN TO ME ALIENS + TWINK

Y/N: well there's a huge ship wars around harumichi and usaharu now

Y/N: and then there's the mamousa shippers

Y/N: and the seiusa shippers

bitches: is there any ships WITHOUT haruka or usagi in them

Y/N: funny you should ask i found around 200 minarei fanfics on ao3 which i was not expecting

tsundere kagome: w-WHAT WHY THE FUCK

dumb blonde: awww reiiiii don't you like meeeee

twink: i actually kind of get why you would ship that

milf energy: same actually

Y/N: wow setsuna's finally here

Y/N: no comments on the username

milf energy: no I've heard it before

senpai: I...don't know wether I should ask.

bitches: don't

Y/N: people ship minarei bcs they like usarei's dork/tsundere dynamic but want it to be a bit less antagonistic

senpai notice me: dork/tsundere huh

senpai notice me: sounds pretty accurate tbh

usagi: wait am i the dork

twink: nooooooooooo of course not

Y/N: also if you were wondering usaharu is popular bcs ppl like flirty butch/innocent random girl

Y/N: or they just simp for haruka which is understandable honestly

bitches magnet: thank you?

useless bi: wait can we go back a bit

useless bi: seiusa?

tsundere kagome: your head is completely empty

useless bi: explains why i keep hearing white noise

Ami: I'm pretty sure that's a tinnitus.

dumb blonde: isnt that a sex disease

Y/N: bruh

twink: seiusa is between you and seiya, usagi

useless bi: ohhhhh huh well if i didn't have mamo-chan i would take seiya

senpai notice me: I-

bitches magnet: i would treat you MUCH better than that asshole

bitches: you also have a partner

bitches magnet: fuck

bitches magnet: i mean yes babe i know

senpai: Ah, young love.

Y/N: you're legitimately 15 bitch what

senpai notice me: don't call her a bitch

dumb blonde: *top energy intensifies

senpai: What does that mean?

Y/N: ah um-

\- Seiya has entered the chat! -

Seiya: whomst hath summoned the ancient one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope that was ok? if the characters are ooc I'm sry but i tried my best.  
> seiya has entered the chat, I wonder what will happen next?


	3. Conspiracy theorists arise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two words: roman mythology  
> also seiya and haruka throw hands oop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name reminder:  
> You: Y/N  
> Seiya: Seiya  
> Rei: tsundere kagome  
> Minako: dumb blonde  
> Usagi: useless bi  
> Mamoru: twink  
> Makoto: senpai notice me  
> Ami: senpai  
> Haruka: bitches magnet  
> Michiru: bitches  
> Setsuna: milf energy

\- Seiya has entered the chat! -

Seiya: whomst hath summoned the ancient one

bitches magnet: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK

Y/N: OMG ITS SEIYA YAAAJHKIHKJHLK

useless bi: hi seiiiyaaa

Seiya: hello odango )

\- bitches magnet removed Seiya from the chat! -  
\- Seiya has entered the chat! -

bitches magnet: GO AWAY

Seiya: what u scared im gonna steal ur bitch ha

bitches: Excuse me

Y/N: i would pay to see a fight between haruka and seiya not even kidding

bitches magnet: i would fight her for free

useless bi: i wonder who would win?

senpai notice me: haruka

senpai: Haruka.

bitches: Haruka

milf energy: haruka

dumb blonde: haruka

tsundere kagome: haruka

twink: Seiya?

useless bi: *le gasp

dumb blonde: betrayal

\- bitches magnet removed Seiya from the chat! -  
\- bitches magnet blocked Seiya! -

Y/N: alright fine if you insist

Y/N: on another note were doing roman mythology in school and its fucking me up

Y/N: so apparently saturn chopped uranus' balls off and chucked them in the sea and that created venus???

dumb blonde: iNtErEsTinG

bitches magnet: LMAOOO

useless bi: went from 0 to 100 real quick

Y/N: oh there's more

Y/N: so venus cheats on vulcan with mars

tsundere kagome: hmm?

tsundere kagome: WHASKJBHMVMJHUGI

senpai notice me: oop lmao think you broke her

senpai notice me: rei.exe has crashed

senpai: She's definitely blushing.

Y/N: LMAOO GET FUCKED HINO

Y/N: I LOVE THIS CHAT SM THIS IS A M A Z I N G

Y/N: rei is def a bottom tho lmao

senpai: I still don't know what those terms mean.

senpai notice me: lets keep it that way for the moment

tsundere kagome: IM NOT A BOTTOM

milf energy: idk man you don't exactly give off top energy

milf energy: also you're a tsundere

useless bi: is rei ok haha

senpai: Doesn't look like it.

senpai notice me: didn't know she was this into mina wow

Y/N: even yall have noticed Im impressed

Y/N: now go check on your gf goddess of love

tsundere kagome: SHES NOT MY GIRLFRIEND

Y/N: TELL THAT TO THE INTERNET

twink: who do i get shipped with, y/n?

Y/N: motoki or fiore usually if not usagi

senpai notice me: LMAOOOOO DEADASS

twink: the fans of our show really like gay people huh

Y/N: who doesnt

dumb blonde: ight ill go check on her lmao

\- Private chat: dumb blonde and tsundere kagome -

dumb blonde: rei u ok?

tsundere kagome: I NEVER SAID I WAS EVEN INTO GIRLS!

dumb blonde: wait what

dumb blonde: I'm so sorry i just assumed

dumb blonde: are you not comfortable with me teasing u?

tsundere kagome: no its fine

tsundere kagome: ...i kinda like it but its just a bit fast

dumb blonde: look its just everyone was saying so and i thought id kinda mess with you a bit

dumb blonde: but i wont do anything you're not comfortable with k?

tsundere kagome: mina?

dumb blonde: ye?

tsundere kagome: i...I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual

dumb blonde: that's great thx for telling me :)

dumb blonde: now i have a chance lmao

tsundere kagome: i-idiot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thought id edit this bcs it was bad lmao  
> hope you like the reinako ur gonna have to wait a bit for confession tho HAHHAHAA I'm an asshole


	4. the summary of bssm by y/n

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a bit self indulgent but idc im the author I'm allowed this shit  
> n e ways you'll just have to wait and see but i promise its funneh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> name reminder:  
> tsundere kagome: rei  
> senpai notice me: makoto  
> senpai: ami  
> dumb blonde: minako  
> useless bi: usagi  
> twink: mamoru  
> bitches magnet: haruka  
> bitches: michiru  
> milf energy: setsuna  
> you: Y/N

Y/N: so who wants my professional summary of bishoujo senshi sailor moon from start to finish

useless bi: MEEEE

senpai notice me: yh why not

senpai: It does sound like it could be funny.

milf energy: This better be good

Y/N: ight

Y/N: so first usagi is confusion and gets bossed around by her cat ft. the local edgy dark haired boi

twink: am i the local edgy dark haired boi

Y/N: no its minako YOU FCKING DONKEY OF COURSE ITS YOU

dumb blonde: CHKUGJGVHBJKHJVHMBJN

senpai: This has started interestingly.

useless bi: yesss i thought he was annoying at first but then i fell in lovvvvveee

bitches: enemies to lovers trope right there

Y/N: right so next

Y/N: enter ami/mercury at ep 8 finally usagi does shit instead of simping for tuxedo mask

senpai: Thank you?

senpai notice me: so usagi spent the first 8 episodes getting her ass saved by mamoru

twink: can confirm

useless bi: mamo channnnnn i wasn't that useless right?

tsundere kagome: bet she was lmao

Y/N: right ep 10 enter scary fire lady aka rei/mars who commits arson and kicks everyone including usagis ass

tsundere kagome: OH YEAHHH

Y/N: also first bi panicc from usagi lmao her first reaction to rei was literally *b l u s h*

useless bi: THIS IS DEMEANING WHY DO U KNOW THIS

Y/N: I SAW EVERY GAY PANIC IN THE SHOW FROM YOU HAHAHHAHAHAHA

Y/N: and there were a l o t

Y/N: so then rei, usagi and ami spend 15 episodes fighting jadeite like 10 times bcs the fucker just wont die

tsundere kagome: that was very annoying ngl

senpai: He just kept on coming!

Y/N: then enter badass lightning woman who dropkicks a bunch of useless males

senpai: Badass lightning woman...?

useless bi: oh yeah i remember they were bullying me and then mako came along

bitches magnet: who would DARE bully my kitten

senpai notice me: them obviuolys

senpai notice me: obvioussyl

senpai notice me: obvioulsy

senpai notice me: fuck this sHIT

Y/N: then mina comes in and lots of dramatic princess shit happens

Y/N: and then the chaos begins w lots of dramatic snogging and even shorter skirts ft. sonic 2.0, her gf, teenage milf and edgy child

Y/N: your welcome

bitches magnet: LMMMAAAOOOOOOOOO

bitches: That is as annoying as it is accurate

Y/N: also haruka goes apeshit on seiya a few times and usagi is #momat14

useless bi: i-

twink: nice

tsundere kagome: #momat14 I'm dying

dumb blonde: did i not get a dumb description just mina

Y/N: the name i gave you inside my head was blonde bish 2 if you have to know

dumb blonde: i am satisfied

Y/N: also what is it with all of the inner senshis names ending with ino except ami lmao

Y/N: it cant be a coincidence

Y/N: aino kino hino tsukino

senpai: I...never noticed

senpai notice me: same lmao that's weird

Y/N: is it like with bami in kakegurui

useless bi: MAYBE OMG

twink: my gf is an evil sadistic mastermind woohoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did not proofread this enjoy goblin children


	5. 5. idk what to call this chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i have a headcanon that mina and haruka are meme and vine lords and no one can take that away from me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name reminder  
> You: Y/N  
> Rei: tsundere kagome  
> Minako: dumb blonde  
> Usagi: useless bi  
> Mamoru: twink  
> Makoto: senpai notice me  
> Ami: senpai  
> Haruka: bitches magnet  
> Michiru: bitches  
> Setsuna: milf energy

Y/N: welcome to part one of me describing sailor moon with memes and vines

useless bi: whats a vine

dumb blonde: imma just pretend i didn't see that VINES AND MEMES 4EVER

bitches magnet: YASSSSSS LES GO

milf energy: If mina, y/n and haruka bond over something I'm pretty sure it's gonna be weird

bitches: I feel like its too late

senpai: What exactly is a 'vine'?

bitches magnet: bro i had a dream we fucked

dumb blonde: bro its just a dream

bitches magnet: huh gay i wouldn't fuck you

dumb blonde: you wouldn't?

Y/N: I mean unless you want

bitches: w h a t

twink: i...don't understand

tsundere kagome: wait why is mina fucking haruka now

Y/N: JAJESGZJVH REI NO-

dumb blonde: ITS A VINE YOU DUMBASS

Y/N: anyway first lets add the starlights

bitches magnet: ugh do we have to

bitches: I mean if its all three then it cant be so bad right?

\- dumb blonde added Yaten to the chat! -

\- dumb blonde added Taiki to the chat! -

\- dumb blonde added Seiya to the chat! -

Y/N: hello starlights I'm a random girl from (Insert wherever you live lmao) and i barged in here and started doing dumb shit so now you have to suffer and watch

me

Taiki: I'm sorry what have we missed?

Yaten: wow this is interesting

Y/N: also Yaten was a lot hotter in the manga but that is irrelevant rn

Yaten: there's a manga with me in it?

Seiya: hello again Haruka

bitches magnet: ugh fuck you

Y/N: anyway I'm gonna start

Taiki: With what exactly?

Y/N: welcome to part one of me describing sailor moon with memes and vines

Yaten: oh alright I'm down

Taiki:...So there's a manga about us called sailor moon?

Seiya: of course there is we're fabulous

Y/N: CAN YOU DUMB FUCKS SHUT UP FOR ONE SECOND

senpai notice me:.

Y/N: THANK YOU

Y/N: so first of all the SECOND i saw rei i knew her and usagis friendship was basically gonna be

how do yOU know whats good for me?

THATS MY OPINIONN

dumb blonde: omg so accurate

Seiya: cant bring myself to disagree

senpai: I do not know what the actual vine sounds like, but it sounds accurate.

senpai notice me: mhm

Y/N: also michiru and yaten are basically just

Hi MEGhan

HellO TIffany

those shoes look...familiar

Yaten: who is who

bitches magnet: works either way actually

bitches: I am not like that!

bitches: ok maybe I'm like that!

Y/N: also i refuse to believe haruka and usagi haven't had this kind of convo at least once

hey I'm lesbian

...

i thought u were Japanese

useless bi: WHa- IM NOT THAT IGNORANT

bitches: that pretty much happened yea

dumb blonde: the power of vines

Y/N: also usagi basically has a harem by now you literally cant change my mind

useless bi: i do?

senpai: You do, yes.

Taiki: Pretty much.

dumb blonde: its true lmao

Y/N: cmon we got haruka twinksedo mask prince whatshisname seiya

Y/N: and umino early in the show honestly lmao

twink: WTF TWINKSEDO

Seiya: LMAOOOOO

Seiya: ITS TROOO

Y/N: honestly i cringed so hard at that scene with prince demande like SIR SHES 14 EXCUSE ME

Seiya: what did he do to her anyway

useless bi:...well

bitches magnet: yeah what did he do?

Y/N: ono

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bring vine back


	6. 6. ship rating with y/n

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> too bad prince demandes ded id like to see usagis harem beat him up  
> also the ship rating is just my opinion but if you like the ships in this fic u should probably think more or less the same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> name reminder:  
> tsundere kagome: rei  
> senpai notice me: makoto  
> senpai: ami  
> dumb blonde: minako  
> useless bi: usagi  
> twink: mamoru  
> bitches magnet: haruka  
> bitches: michiru  
> milf energy: setsuna  
> you: Y/N
> 
> Yaten, Seiya and Taikis names r gonna change so youll see them in the story

Y/N: he kinda

Y/N: um

Y/N: mightve

Y/N: assaulted her

useless bi::..yea

twink: im going to beat that man to death 

Seiya: ight I'm down

bitches magnet: for once i agree with seiya

dumb blonde: and here we see usagis harem in its natural habitat

Y/N: as much as that would be hilarious

Y/N: the mans ded

Taiki: Yes.

Y/N: also why haven't we changed the starlights names yet

\- Y/N: changed Seiya's name to gayass badboi -

\- Y/N: changed Yaten's name to badbitch supreme -

\- Y/N: changed Taiki's name to suck it nerddd -

Y/N: perfect

gayass badboi: why not ig

badbitch supreme: jsjhjlbhhf

suck it nerddd: I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Y/N: I'm gonna rate some ships now bcs i like watching yall suffer

bitches magnet: i feel like this is gon be freaky

senpai: I don't know if this is such a good idea.

useless bi: it cant be that bad right?

dumb blonde: ohohohoho

dumb blonde: well see abt that lmao

Y/N: so first we have

usagixmamoru 7/10

\- kinda cliche but makes sense

\- sure why not

\- dorks in love

\- also romeo and juliet dramatic backstory we stan

twink: ill take it

useless bi: reeeeeeeeeeeee

gayass badboi: mm ahaha

gayass badboi: I'm not so sure

bitches magnet: back yo ass off 

Y/N: ight next

reixjadeite 1/10

\- what is it with rei and blondes my god

\- is no one talking abt the age gap

\- sure it might have backstory but um

\- is it considered kinky to stilleto-dropkick someone in the nuts

\- pls why is this popular

tsundere kagome: wait ppl ship that

twink: the age gap is worrying

Y/N: rich coming from a 17 yr old dating a 15 year old

useless bi: hmm shes not wrong

senpai notice me: is no one gonna talk abt the other stuff

dumb blonde: why ship a senshi with a shitennou when there are other single senshi without an age gap

Y/N: you make it sound like youre not the only other option

gayass badboi: what would you do with two minakos rei

tsundere kagome: make them fight against each other and see what happens

suck it nerddd: What would the winner get?

tsundere kagome: whatever they want

dumb blonde: what if its someone they want and not something

tsundere kagome: well then they would have to say it and not just hint at it

senpai: That's gay.

Y/N: this slowburn is physically hurting me 

senpai notice me: honestly same 

Y/N: ight 3

Y/N: minakoxrei 168678765765/10

\- literally just yes

\- makes more sense in the manga lol

\- also the mythological symbolysm

\- so adorable 

\- g AYYYYYYYY

tsundere kagome: jUST HOW FAR WILL YOU GO 

tsundere kagome: MAKO STOP SMIRKING LIKE THAT

senpai: This is more amusing than I expected it to be.

Taiki: Agreed.

badbitch supreme: am i included in any ships

Y/N: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bu6NhI9EwHs

bitches magnet: better not be a rickroll

useless bi: dw its not

milf energy: How do you know

useless bi: i have the link to never gonna give you up memorised

tsundere kagome: so THIS is what you use your tiny brain for

bitches: If only Usagi would spend more time memorising school stuff than memorising internet links

useless bi: id rather fail school than get rickrolled every time someone sends me a link

badbitch supreme: i like the way you think but you should really get your priorities in order

Y/N: watch the video

suck it nerddd: I already have. I wasn't included?

Y/N: who the hell are we meant to ship you with

suck it nerddd: I'm not sure.

bitches: I watched it

dumb blonde: i have several questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls watch the video its hilarious, reactions to it next update
> 
> IMPORTANT!!  
> two questions ive been getting a lot:  
> 1\. when does this play?  
> so this plays in a kind of weird setting where usagi and the others are still teenagers and going to school and stuff, but everything in the show has already happened.  
> 2\. the starlights' gender?  
> i decided to stick with the manga genders, where the starlights are girls and crossdress the way haruka does.


End file.
